Reunion, Regrets and a Refund please!

For those of you that read Amy’s blog (http://www.highstrungmusings.blogspot.com/) you already know that this past weekend consisted of a family reunion in Arkansas--The Whorton Kin and Friends reunion.  We love our family and try to take advantage of every opportunity to spend time with them…near and far.   Amy and I consider ourselves blessed to have such a special mom.  She made sure we grew up with her same deep sense of family.   From early childhood she shared pictures, stories and family history with us.  Many of these history lessons and story-telling sessions took place in the car on the long road trips to Arkansas.    I imagine this was her way of helping deepen the connection with our ‘Arkansas’ family.   Unlike Amy and I, many of our relatives grew up close to one another not only in age but in proximity.  So to my Whorton kin…you may not know a lot about us but you just might be surprised to know what we know about you…Lol!

This year was bittersweet as mom and dad were not able to make it to the reunion.  Truth is dad just wasn’t physically up to making the trip.  We understood but we didn’t like it….not one bit.  We wanted our ‘mommy and daddy’ to be with us if you will.  But it was not to be this time.   This was the first time ever that we traveled to Arkansas without them.  It didn’t feel right leaving them.  The one upside, if you can call it that, is that we booked our stay on our beloved Mt. Nebo where the cabins are homey and inviting, the deer are frequent visitors and the sunsets are spectacular!   I can’t explain the connection I have to this place …other than when I am there it feels like it is right where I should be.  Make sense?  Yes…great!   No, ok moving on… 

To the reunion itself….It was much harder than I anticipated.   I enjoyed seeing everyone but I didn’t make the most of my time there…can you say regret?   I didn’t expect it to be easy but I also didn’t expect to get so emotional either.   The well meaning inquiries about mom and dad, the ‘wish they were here’,  and ‘ hope we see them next year ‘ was a little overwhelming.  It was touching to hear just how much my mom is loved and she was obviously missed BUT it was also a foreshadowing of what the future will hold when one day she can’t be there for other reasons.  I’m not ready for a future without either of my parents.  So start with a little sentimental, add a little sorrow, mix with overactive thinking and you have a recipe for one sappy Julie.  Sorry family… I hope to get it right next year!

Speaking of getting it right…. dad’s scan is clear… great news!  Not so right is the fact that the doctor was not able retrieve a good sample of CSF fluid for testing from dad’s Ommaya reservoir.  It appears that the reservoir was placed too long ago and will not be usable for his next round of chemo treatments.   P.S.  CSF means Cerebrospinal Fluid, which is tested to determine the presence (OR NOT) of cancer cells. Note, I am not a doctor and I don’t play one on TV, just starting to sound like one courtesy of dad’s cancer.  So as it stands now he will have to have LP’s, meaning Lumbar Puncture, to have chemo drug delivered.   Puncture just sounds plain painful… couldn’t they call it Lumbar Prick?  Hmm…on second thought maybe not.  Either way, I think a refund is due for the malfunctioning Ommaya Reservoir.  Returning it however is not an option….that would require brain surgery.  So it looks like dad will just get to keep that little souvenir as a reminder of all he has been through.  Every hero deserves a medal…this will be his!

For my dad…..

1 Chronicles 28:20 
"Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the LORD is finished. 

Happy Anniversary! (Times 2)

This week marked two anniversaries.  Yep, that’s right TWO!!

Both anniversaries are special but in very different ways.  The first anniversary deserving of celebration is the 48^th Wedding Anniversary of my dear parents.  They have spent forty eight years loving each other, working hard, raising a family and building their lives together.  They truly epitomize the traditional wedding vows:   ‘ To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part’.    They have been a living example for their children and grandchildren of loyalty, dedication, and love.  They have made us a FAMILY.  For those of you that know my mom you know that she has a very deep and real sense of family and her love for family knows no bounds…not just her immediate family but ALL of her family….parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, and cousins.  Shortly after their wedding--like the day after--my parents moved to Texas to begin their married life.  Most of their family remained in Arkansas and I am certain they both left a piece of their hearts there as well.  The distance however did not prevent us from knowing our family…we learned through stories, pictures and frequent visits.  My mom made sure to instill her same love of family in her daughters.

As is the case in all families, our family has experienced the ups, downs and sometimes sideways that life has to offer.  The second anniversary we mark this week is the 8 month anniversary of dad’s cancer diagnosis….or as I prefer to think of it….8 months of showing cancer who is boss!  I often revisit the memory of the day of his original MRI and the devastating conversation that followed with the radiologist.   The impact of his words in just a few short moments sent my world into a spiral.  Why God?   Why my dad?  Why can’t he be one of the patients from the waiting room who just came in for a simple procedure and leave with good news?  How am I going to remain strong for my mom?  I need to call someone…how do I use my phone?  Why can’t I stop the shaking to dial the right number?  How do I relay this news to my family??   Family…that’s it….I have to call my family.  They have to know, they need to know…they would want to know wouldn’t they?  First call was to Tony, my rock.  Next up had to be Amy but I couldn’t bring myself to call her because I couldn’t talk through the tears so I opted to call Michael knowing he would be able to best handle getting her out of school and to the hospital.  Many more calls that day and in the days that followed but they didn’t get any easier. 

 In 8 months none of this has gotten any easier.  I don’t have to make the phone calls any more but the worry, fear, concern and pain is still there.  I don’t send out regular updates to family anymore but there is plenty of updating to be done. 

So as we commemorate these anniversaries this week my family will continue to move on as a family does…. Praying through the bad times, holding tight to each other through the hard times, enjoying the happy times and celebrating the good times of our lives-- all as a FAMILY should!

To my family – I treasure each day we have together…know my love is yours forever and I will cherish you always!  All my love, Julie

Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family.  ~Anthony Brandt